beckypoos

beckypoos

( 10:09 pm )

Well its still coming, but I have put it on hold until I get back from Northallerton. Happy new year everyone, and have fun whatever your doing :)

5 days

( 11:14 pm )

It is coming...

( 11:01 am )

So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention, do you?
I know you don't listen to me
'Cos you say you see straight through me, don't you?

And on and on
From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me
I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care

Did you want me to change?
Well I changed for good
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way
I wanted to say…

Don't you shiver
Shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you

So you know how much I need ya
But you never even see me, do you?
And is this my final chance of getting you

Did you want me to change?
Well I changed for good
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way
I wanted to say…

And it's you I see but you don't see me
And it's you I hear so loud and so clear
I sing it loud and clear
And I'll always be waiting for you

So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention
And you know how much I need you
But you never even see me

*bows*

( 10:52 pm )

This time last week I would have been in a lufly little lodge with 5 fabulous people and a bottle of wine. I can't believe how much time flies... and it's not as if I'm having any fun either. I cant stand the not doing anything, Center Parcs has given me an apatite for activeness. I wanna go out on my bike, play tennis or swim. Non of these things are within walking distance any more, and it does my head in!
Today hasn't been quite so bad, at least I got out of the house. But only to sit in a cinema for 3 and a half hours...fun.

Christmas just didn't seem like Christmas this year. It didn't seem fun or jolly at all. The dinner was as fantastic and immobilising as usual though, so no complaints there.

Ah well, I'll be off now. Back to the restless pacing.

( 9:35 pm )

FRIDAY
I started my lufly little journey up to cumbria at around 8.15am. The first person I met up with was Gemma, who I joined at York. Then we both met everyone else at Northallerton train station. They were all shattered from the work party they had gone to the night before, which was a fantastic start :p
Jono, Gav and Si drove off in one car (the 'party car') and the rest of us shot up there in Capps' car... which doesn't have a name. I subjected Gemma and Capps to my wonderful music collection of The Cure, Gene and REM.

We arrived at Center Parcs at around 1.30, and we were told we couldn't actually take any of our stuff to the lodge until 3.30. So we decided to rent out bikes for the weekend and have a little exploration... that didn't really last long because Jono led us to the lodge where they all ended up lazing in front of the telly. While they did that, I decorated the lodge with christmasy bit and bobs and handed out pressies and cards.

The rest of the night was spent generally settling in and (for some of us) getting drunk :D

When everyone had gone to bed I was kept awake by mumbling from the next room. Capps and Gav were having one of their girly chats. I tried holding my ear against the wall and the door to their room, but I couldn't hear a damn thing they were saying. So I decided to invade their room and shout at them for being too quiet. I believe my exact words were "If you're going to keep me awake, you could at least talk loud enough for me to hear". It ended with me fallin over Capps shoes and suitcase and ending up on my arse. ohhhhh the hilarity!

SATURDAY
I didn't sleep too well during the night, I was too excited and was planning my wake up call for the rest of the gang. Me and gemma had planned on invading Capps and Gav's room and joining them in bed (oooer). That didn't quite go to plan. Instead I opened the door and complained about the smell of stale boys. This didn't shift them though, so we tackled the small and I prized Gav out of bed with a few tickles.
By 9 everyone was up, about, and packed for swimming (after lots of bullying from me). We were all in the pool by about half past 9 and having loads of wet fun! We had wrestling matches in the pool; one person would give another a piggy back - This is one team. First of all it was me and Si against Jono and Gav. I was the one on top (oooer) I think I let go with fear before any one had a chance to win! Next it was me and Gav against Si and Jono. This time I held on for dear life, and ended up nearly chocking Gav to death...ooops :s
Gav and Si were showing off in the water with their fancy hand stands and whateva else. I actually ended up with a Hodgson foot (Si's) in my mouth... kinky :P

That evening we decided to do a bit of walking before we went for something to eat. We visited a number of pubs and checked out the sports centre. On our way round I managed to step in millions of muddy puddles. It was dark at the time and some areas are poorly lit. After our little exploration we went to 'Rock Legions' for some food. We all had burgers and chips, and me and Jono both had a very fattening pudding each :D

After returning to the lodge me, Gem, Capps and Gav sat in mine and Gem's room talking about this and that. Jono and Si were pretty pooped and went for an early night (oh aye? ;) ). The rest of us re-appeared back into the living area where we found out it was snowing! we went out in it for a little while, before discovering it was warmer to watch it on channel 9 (This was a live feed from a camera placed somewhere on the grounds. There was a trough in the middle of the picture and every no and again you would see animals hop or scuttle past).

SUNDAY
My wake up call was a little more effective this time. I actually ignored and smell and went straight into the room. It wasn't long before they were all up again. Although it was proving harder to get the Hodgson boys up.... sooooo lazy :P

We decided to head off quite early in order to book a tennis court for some time during the day. The earliest slot was 9pm, so we booked that and headed off to some pool tables. I bought myself a VK orange (that cost me Â£3.15!!!), and having had nothing for breakfast, it went straight to my head and I was nicely pished after just the one. After the boys had done with pool, we headed off to crazy golf. This was very fun indeed, I started off very badly by getting 9 on the first one, but I got better and ended up coming 3rd (out of 6). We weren't going to get through the event without indury though.... I hit Si on the head with a golf club. wooops!

Me, Capps and Gem headed off on our bikes to Burger King for a spot of dinner, and the rest went back to the lodge. I headed off in the wrong direction thought, and took Capps and Gem on a bit of a goose chase. It was all fun thought, and we got to see some wildlife and some of the posh 2 story lodges.

As soon as me, Capps, Gav and Gem had had a little bit of a rest, I dragged them all back out again to the swimming baths. Si and Jono decided to stop in and catch up on a bit of sleep. The swimming session was very much like the one the day before, but with less wrestling and more actuall swimming.

It was time to head off to the sports centre for the tennis session. We played doubles for a while, but not within rules... just a bit of a mess about. That was very fun and anergetic. I started out being Gav's partner, then Jono's and then Si's. I was running round the court like a mad woman, it was brilliant and I think the best event of the weekend. I almost damages Si's face with my racket though... that would have been 2 induries for him caused by me in the same day. He did end up on the floor thought, giving himself friction burns on his arm and leg. OUCH! For the last five mins of the session we decided to have one game to decided who would be 'champions of the universe'. Me and Si won... obviously, because we are the best :D

When we got back to the lodge we put channel 9 back on and someone had moved the trough! It was pointing a different way to usual! That was the biggest and most exciting news for the day.
Everyone went to bed quite early because we had to be out of the house at 10 the next day. Me and Capps did a spot of cleaning first thought.

MONDAY
I got up at 8.15. I woke everyone else as usual, then jumped in the bath before packing and finishing the cleaning. We didnt have anything planned for the day, except a bit of golf on the driving rage. When we got there though, it was closed :(
We went for a drink, visited a few last shops and then headed back to Northallerton.
We had a game of bowling (I came 4th!!) and then we waved goodbye to a few members of the group so they could go off and sleep in preperation for curry night.
Me, Gem and Capps spent the afternoon listening to music and talking in Capps' living room. Then it was off out for curry. First we picked up Mark (who I hadnt seen for 8 months, since we split up) from his house and drove off into town. It was then that Capps realised he had forgotten Julian and left me and Mark to go into the curry house alone. That was quite daunting considering, but it wasnt too bad as more ppl arrived not too long after. I got up to slammed the door shut, but I didnt realise Si was on his way in.... Another almost painful moment for him then!
The curry was great, the company was even better and I seemed to get on very well with Mark :) After that we headed off to a couple of pubs where I got bought a double vodka and orange... mmmmm free alcohol!

The night ended with just me Capps and Gem again back at Capps' house. We stappoed up till about 1.30 with the music back on and more talking.

TUESDAY
The last day of the extended weekend away.
It started out with us going round to Gav's house to pick him up and bring him back round to Capps'. We played Monopoly and watched Futurama (and also tried to listen to it over Marks band practicing [they need it] in the conservatory).

We then went for a walk in town wher we met up with Julian and we also bumped into Jono on his way back to work (aw). Wastn long after that that me and Gem were waving goodbye to the boys at the train station.... aw.

SUMMERY
All in all it was a great weekend. I met new people and got to know my older friends a little better :)
There were a few problems thought. My mood dropped a few times during the weekend, due to problems with me and another person in the group. I get the impression that there avoiding me a lot of the time, and find it hard to talk to me. It's my own fault for being so honest about my feelings, which I probably should have kept to myself. I thought being honest was the right thing to do at the time, but it appears to be costing me one of my best freinds. I just hope it passes, and sooner rather than later.

Sorry.

Advent calendar
Door number: 23
Picture: A cow's arse

( 9:07 pm )

I'm running out of things to say in this damn thing!

I went shopping yesterday for bits and bobs for center parcs. I still haven't managed to get any last min Christmas presents though, which is extremely annoying! I ended up buying things like razor blades, deodorant and things for emergencies, like paracetamols and plasters. I went all over Sheffield yesterday. Up high street, then down and back up the moor again. And did I find any damn mistletoe? NO! *grumbles*. Someone at uni told me I couldn't find any because it was to early, then he panicked a bit when I informed him that Christmas day is next week. aw...

Well today I got up at 8.30, started working on my project at 9.00 and I have just finished for the night (21.00 and with plenty still to do). I have had breaks in between, to allow for bus journeys to and from uni... I forgot my damn mobile and my damn walkman, so I was bored still on the bus to! *whinges* everything just fallin apart!

WEEEEEEEEEEEE CENTER PARCS!

Advent calendar
Door number: 16
Picture: A smiley face

<0 weeks 3 days>

( 3:27 pm )

Why does talking to my friends put me in a bad mood? Why does everything they say make me more and more angry? I'm quite sick of going to bed not knowing wetha to punch the wall or cry.

Uni is really pressuring me at the moment, and that just seems to be getting worse. I usually start off the day feeling not so bad, then I go to uni and get myself all stressed out and frustrated. Then I come home and interaction with people just adds to it.

Is all this triggering my need for a break?

Advent calendar
Door number: 14
Picture: A cows snout

<0 weeks 5 days>

( 1:20 pm )

Well the day so far has been rather spiffing. I woke up this morning to a package from the BBC... *grins*
I have also had a morning of trimming up my room. Its now full of tinsel and bright coloured fairy lights... mmmm festive :D although the morning would not be complete without a trademark beck strop. I couldn't find an Extension for the lights around the front door and mum was getting in my way with rubbish and washing, and she slapped my arm! :O So I threw the keys on the floor, shouted and screamed a bit and stormed off. mmmerry Christmas!

Advent calendar
Door number: 13
Picture: A smiling cow

<0 weeks 6 days>

( 11:57 pm )

Advent calendar
Door number: 12
Picture: A cow

<0 weeks 5 days>

( 6:40 pm )

Why is everything so complicated?

I've been walking around Uni today trying to sort out my finances, my placement and my future. Its damn hard work! I was suppose to have a Linux practical test today, but I had to ask for more time because of how snowed under I am with everything. I also have course work and a presentation to give next week. Nothing happens for weeks, then all of a sudden I'm lumbered with every bloody thing possible!

I had a long talk with people from the PEU (placement something something) office and they gave me quite a lot of advice, but I still feel a million miles away from getting myself a Job, and I only have 3 or 4 weeks. I seem to have finally got the message through to them about what I want to do, though. I spent weeks and weeks trying to explain myself to them and get help, but its been very hard work. Maybe they should look for new jobs.

I found out how little money I have today. Usually I'm good with my money and I have an idea about how much I have in the bank. For the past few weeks, however, I have been ordering things for people online, and they have been giving me the money for them, so I haven't needed to visit a cash point (which is when I usually get myself a receipt or a mini statement). I still have Christmas presents to buy as well, and I haven't got a clue what I'm getting. Center Parcs is getting very close now, which is something else that's likely to burn a hole in my pocket. I am looking forward to it though... cept the fact that its when uni finishes, and that will be it for a year...no more lectures, tutorials and lay ins :(

I would like to apologise again for my little rant the other morning. I said what I felt at the time, but now I have cooled down a little I might take a bit of it back. I'm gonna get just as drunk as the boys and avoid calling you all lazy fuckers (doesn't mean I cant think it though :p). That doesn't include Gav though, he's very adamant that he is lazy and selfish... whateva :p

I'm thinking of putting my Christmas decorations up tomorrow. I have my own little tree that's decorated in purple sparkly things, it's very pretty :) I also have purple and silver tinsel to hang around the place, and colourd lights that will go round the shelves over my desk :D

Advent calendar
Door number: 11
Picture: A cows snout

<1 weeks 1 days>

( 9:57 pm )

Sorry. I dont care about the paint balling.

( 10:01 am )

Last night I was having my usual lufly chat about center parcs with a member of the party. As a result I brought up paint balling. Its one of the activities I am most looking forward to (Mistletoe aside). This is when I am told that 'they' have decided not to go paint balling any more. 'They' think its better if we stick to the cheap things. Why don't people tell me these things before, instead of pretending they really wanna do it before going off to discuss everything behind my back!
Ok, £20 is quite a lot of money for an hour of running around with a gun loaded with paint, but that's all I was expecting. I decided against the Quads at £47.50, and everything else in the bloody book. So after all that the activities left are bike riding and swimming. Yes, I will have paid over £80 on accommodation and travel to ride a bike, which I can do at home for free, and swim, which I can do in town for near enough free.

Another thing I have been told about is the so called drinking games that have been organised(umm alcohol... Doesn't that cost lots of money?). Apparently I'm stupid for expecting people to be up before noon every day. Its an active holiday for fuck sake! why would anyone want to stay in bed?? 'Because we're selfish lazy fuckers!' - of course, I had forgotten about that.

Yes, I know what its like to not have much money because I happen to be a finacially struggling student. But I'm still gonna make sure I have fun on holiday. The whole point was that I wanted to do stuff I hadnt done before (and to top it off, have my best friends with me), and in the end I only wanted that differentness to be one thing.

So people are staying in bed and not joining in... looks like Im going on holiday alone.

Advent calendar
Door number: 9
Picture: A fairy light

<1 weeks 3 days>

( 10:03 pm )

Hair Cut.

Spent the day at mi aunts trying to figure out what the bugger is wrong with my uncles computer and yet again painting my cousins Games Workshop figures. My cousin from the other side of the family came and chopped mi locks off, and mi 2nd cousin (her son), was in his full Sheffield U***ed kit.... *cringes*. She's a damn Beck! She should encourage her kids towards the owls, I don't care what tripe she married!

mmmmm dumplings
mmmmm Toblerone
mmmmm Black Jacks
mmmmm chicken Tikka
mmmmm Ice cream
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!

Advent calendar
Door number: 7
Picture: A cow

<1 weeks 5 days>

( 12:47 am )

~NEWS FLASH~

I've got chocolate on my new jim jams :(

( 11:21 pm )

Got a couple of important issues to get through this evening, so please pay attention... I'm only gonna write it once (But you are allowed to read it as many times as you like).

Firstly I would just like to say that I am disappointed with the lack of comments on my little bloggies. There's always double figures in everyone else's... I make the effort so I don't see why you lazy gits shouldn't! Are my blogs just not interesting enough for you? Do I whinge and moan a little too much about how unpopular I am and how depressed I'm feeling about my high heeled boots? I would appreciate you input, thank you.

Second of all I would like to inform you all about the new PJs I bought in Rotherham today. Pale pink and white to symbolise innocence... With any luck I'll fool all those...Fools at center parcs into thinkin I'm a trust worthy lufly little girl who doesn't know about 'action', neva mind want some :D I also bought some pink striped pants... I love striped undies, there great! :D There not big pants tho, like I normally wear... Its a *whispers*thong.*giggles*. Better not wear that with the PJs... I might blow my cover... HAHAH blow HAHAH...er...eeek *smiles sweetly*

Thirdly I would like to say how happy I am to have something new to read over at Gav Blog and Wendy Blog... Its all very exciting when I have something to do... I have to be careful coz I might end up getting over excited and all the blood will rush to mi head and then it will pop!

Just watched Peter Kay in Bolton DVD... oh dear. Mi throat and belly hurt from laffin so much. Ill have to watch the other one in Blackpool so I can be in pain again. Oh crap I've been bit! I blame the cat!

Advent calendar
Door number: 6
Picture: A bird...possibly a robbin

<1 weeks 6 days>

( 12:08 am )

~IMPORTANT NOTICE~
The meet for the beginning of January has been scrapped. Someone cant make it so I'll have to pick another day...Possibly in my next life time :p

Been ill and groggy today, funny head and feelin pukeish. I slept in quite late and also slept some more during the day... Still tired as well. Watched Bo Selecta. Nofin else to say really.

C'MON BOYS LET'S PUSH IT HARD
BUMP DOWN PUSH YOUR MOTOR CAR
C'MON BOYS YOU'VE DONE US PROUD
YOU CAN SWEAT, DIG, I'LL MOP IT RIGHT OFF YOUR BROW

<2 weeks 0 days>

( 10:05 pm )

My blog gets boringer and boringer every day. Is boringer even a word? pffft, it is now :p

Today I went into uni, but when I got their it had been taken over by aliens from the planet Whoosh Wagga, and I was held at laser point while they demanded money from the finance department... So I decided to nut the laser holder, and snatch the laser and shot em all down, woooooooooooh.

I got 4 lots of mail this morning, I felt rather special for it :D 2 Christmas cards, a DVD for my nannan and a letter from the finance department at uni demanding money from me... The cheek! Then I came online and got a PM from a bloke at uni who decided he was gonna be in uni at 12.30, even though the day before he said he couldn't get in early because he was goin out. And he decided to change his mind about it and let me know about 5 mins after I should have set off. *makes angry noises* I had that test I told yas all about, got 60 something, which isn't too bad I suppose. After I had finished that, I decided to walk out of the lesson and go shopping. I was going to buy myself some trousers... FAT CHANCE! (Fat being the operative word).

Wagga

Advent calendar
Door number: 4
Picture: A bird... possibly a robbin

<2 weeks 1 days>

( 11:11 pm )

Its gone 11... You've failed.

( 9:42 pm )

Hardly slept a wink last night, so I've been walking round like a zombie all day. This morning feels like years ago. I really must have an early night. So if I'm still up at 11 someone needs to shout at me a bit. I was in uni by about 8.50 this morning doing SQL, its getting a little too much like work for my liking, just cant get my head round it.

I went to my nannan's for tea as usual on a Wednesday. I had another attack of the deadly boots... I walked up hill and down hill for about a mile in them. I'm so evil to myself, but my feet need to get used to them or they would have been a waste of money!

I have my final chapter test tomorrow for network server configuration, this is before I take the final test on 14 chapters worth of material... Closed book! So I'm pretty confident there.... Confident that I'm gonna fail, that is! I have a phase test at 9.30 on Monday morning too. Applied data modelling... Its suppose to be my best subject, but the example we did today baffled me, so I'm quite worried about it now.

You'll all be glad to know that I've finally had some chocolate :p

Anyone fancy scrabble with a tired, miserable cow...?

Advent calendar
Door number: 3
Picture: A cows snout

<2 weeks 2 days>

( 9:51 pm )

List for Center Parcs:

Tops
Trousers (Including soft ones for paintballing)
Trainers
Boots
underwear (Pants, socks, bras)
Swimming costume
Towels (Including a big one for swimming)
Toothpaste
Soap
Shampoo
Contact Lenses
Make up (Eye shadow, mascara, eye liner)
bobbles
Mini disk player
Speakers
Mistletoe
Food
Drink
Vodka

Subject to change...

I figured if I write out my list here then I'm less likely to fold it up and lose it down the back of my desk :D

( 6:41 pm )

Got up at 12. Went to Uni. Watched a video with Dawn French in it. Went into town. Got the bus home. Watched telly. Sat here.

Advent calendar
Door number: 2
Picture: A baby bird

<2 weeks 3 days>

( 10:47 pm )

I tackled the rain, not one times, but two times :D I got very wet, but I didn't have any near death experiences... Sorry folks! I did wear my boots with the three inch heals again, so I ended up crippled... Near dead feet if you like :D

Did they do a home alone 3 film? If not, I'm it! Everyone's out having fun and I'm stuck at home with eastenders, changing rooms and mersey beat. *turns the house upside down*

I tried resolving some issues with a friend last night. It didn't quite go to plan, as I'm not totally sure what the issues are and why they're there. But I suppose now we both know they are there and um... That might be of help, possibly. I've had a think about it any way, and iv decided it could be jealousy... Maybe the need for a bit of attention. Pfft, it all sounds a bit childish I know, but I cant seem to help it. I t could however be non of those things and be something completely different, like something that happened a while ago... Which I'm not comfortable talking about here or with the person.
I need a healing holiday and some fun with friends

I also still need some chocolate.

<2 weeks 4 days>

( 3:43 pm )

My lecture started half an hour ago... *grins* I feel like crap, the weather looks crap so I decided to stop in.

Its my mum and dads 24th anniversary today, so they're out having fun till late. That means I have to sort tea out for James and myself. I'm thinking something along the lines of pie and chips from the chippy :D

I'm going to have to go out and tackle the weather at some point today. I have a few letters that need posting. I bet your all hoping for something really exciting to happen while I'm there, like a near death experience for me to write about so that your not all bored stiff. I wouldn't mind a little excitement in my life either. I might have some exciting stories to tell on my return from center parcs. Its just a shame that everyone who is bound to read it is coming with me... Ah well :p Maybe I could plan for something secretive to happen, something completely gross and inhuman, which people will only find out about when they read the blog... muhahahHAHAHHAAHAHAHHHAHAHA!

I need some chocolate.

Advent calendar
Door number: 1
Picture: A fairy light

( 12:29 am )

oooooooh advent!
*runs off for chokki* :D